WHAT IS THE FIRST STEP?

Master

Master

Active member
Ladies and gentlemen, Pastors and Pastoral Assistants in this great House, I relay my greetings to you all.

When it's comes to Relationship, I have a thousand and one question to ask. However, I'll begin with this one.

Let's create an hypothetical scenario that I've seen someone I love. I've prayed to God about it and I received a go ahead from him. I begin to get close to this lady to know more about her while still holding my Christain beliefs intact, so I don't defile myself before my marriage.

The worldy people call the process of me revealing my intentions to the girl and trying to know more about her - dating. In the kingdom, it is called courtship.

Now here comes my question, I believe this is also the question in the minds of many young men, who want to get into a relationship, but do not know how to begin.

How do you reveal your intentions to the lady in question. Don't tell me that I'd just have to be blunt About it. No, I won't take that. A female friend I had once told me, how a guy tried to use religion to downplay on their courtship. So everytime, he always uses prayers to cover up things, even his emotions.

How do we reveal our intentions to the girl we are interested in and make her know that we'd love to court her?
 
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I appreciate your openness to communicate your concern and your stand base on your belief on both relationship and spirituality.
Clearly, you have made up your mind not to be blunt about expressing your intention directly so the debate on that area is like roles out
Frankly speaking, the opinion of direct expression is the best way to make your intentions known as there is no other way to do it, than say it as a request, excerpt the person is either afraid of a rejection or shy to speak up
Relationships are not spiritual but physical so treating it as spiritual is not the ideal way to go about it, as it's not built in the spirit but in the physical.
 
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Dating and relationships are important topics so talking about them is necessary. instead of long paragraphs let me just condense my thoughts into points
1. Dating or Courtship are terminologies. What is important is that the 2 people meet or one person seeks out someone he or she likes. Marriage is not just jumped into. The whole idea of dating or courtship is to get to know someone well enough. This process can eventually lead to marriage or it may not
2. Media and popular culture often push the narrative that dating involves sex, cohabitation and other privileges meant for committed married couples. The proper thing to do is IF the people involved have related with themselves; gotten to know each other well; had meaningful conversations and observed each other in varying life situations to the point that they have decided to marry then they do what is required
3. The issue of saying, 'God says this is my husband/wife' while not wrong is not a reason to beat the other party over the head with it. A committed faithful Christian is supposed to involve God in every facet of his/her life. That being said, marriage is not a one person decision. If indeed God has told one party, he will reveal it to the other party. I have heard of situations where one person received this knowledge but kept it quiet and waited until the other was ready which I believe is the right thing to do.
4. Looking only on the outside. God knows all hearts and all things. It makes perfect sense to commit the matter into his hands if one has seen the person he/she believes is good for them. Let God guide
5. I don't advise that the first conversation with someone should be talking about marriage. It is absolutely necessary to state one's intention but i think there is a natural progression involving getting to know the person, friendship etc.
 
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